​That Ain’t Cute!

          Today, I had it in my mind to comment on a particular subject.  But then, after overhearing some teenage boys on the bus on my way home from the store today, I was compelled to change the topic.
           I am on the bus, like everyone else, minding my own business.  Two teenage boys, around fifteen years old, get on the bus and sit in the back near me and some other adults.  One boy is on the phone, speaker phone, talking loudly to some girl.  The other is sitting two seats away from him chirping in on the conversation every now and again.  Of course, we can all hear the conversation.  That’s not so bad.  I don’t like it, but its New York.  In the big scheme of things, I can live with that.  Just about every third word was a curse word or the “N” word.  Again, its New York!  What else is new?  But here’s what really bothered me.  These two boys start one upping each other about the jail time they served.  They were actually proud of it!  All I could do was shake my head.  One kid bragged, and I do mean bragged, about getting arrested the first time at twelve because he robbed a grown man of his credit card and had it on him when he was searched.  Then, this same kid started talking about how ACS wanted to arrest him because of his priors and that his rap sheet was longer than he thought.  His friend starts talking about how he doesn’t tell ACS anything about his mother (for those of you who don’t live in New York City, ACS is the Administration for Children’s Services).  Now, I don’t blame that kid for not saying anything to ACS.  I worked in Family Court for a long time.  I understand why he would keep his mouth shut.  But, I was bothered by the bragging that these two kids did about their alleged jail time (I say alleged because who knows whether or not it was true).  They weren’t bragging about making good grades.  They weren’t bragging about how well they played in their last basketball game.  They were bragging about being in jail.  That ain’t cute!  It was sad.  I was sad for them.  And you know what really made me sad for them?  One kid said that he told ACS that his father was dead.  The other one said jokingly, “Yeah, he’s dead to you.”  Parents and potential parents, if you’re going to have kids, you have to be in their lives and actively raise them.
          This got me thinking.  What other behavior have I seen kids get away with that’s not cute?  I have been out in public places and have seen kids of all ages yelling at their parents and telling them off!  The parent receiving the verbal abuse does not say anything to the child about their behavior.  That always baffles me!  I wish one of kids would try to do that.  I’m not saying that my kids are perfect, they are far from it and everyone has a bad day every now and again.  But in these instances, it appeared that this was the normal interaction between the parent and child.  That ain’t cute!
          I’ve been in different places where the parent will tell the kid to do something.  Now mind you, I said tell, not ask.  The kid will either whine, talk back, or flat our refuse to do it.  Wait, what?  Who’s the parent here?  Sometimes the parent may say something and try to excuse the behavior and laugh it off.  No, my friend.  It’s not a laughing matter.  That ain’t cute.
          I write all of this to say this, parents and potential parents, we have got to do a better job of raising our children.  We know deep down that some of the things these kids say and/or do isn’t cute.  Stop acting like it is.  Step up and be the parent.  Teach your kids that education is cool, not jail time.  Teach them that they should want to project the image of someone who is educated and going places, not of someone who is stupid and going to jail.  Teach them that we have to speak and treat all people with respect.  Not sometimes, but all the time.  If we don’t teach our kids the fundamental, core values, this next generation will be lost, if it isn’t already.  And don’t forget, one day they’ll be the ones taking care of us when we’re old!  And believe you me, THAT, ain’t cute!
          Consider yourself warned!