Consider yourself warned!
A guide for those who think they want children.
I’m still in my nostalgic state. I guess its something I’m going through right now. This time, I’m thinking about my daughter.
When I found out that I was going to have a girl, I was ecstatic. After all, what women doesn’t want a daughter? Someone who will be their little confidant. Someone who will be a mini version of themselves. Someone you can dress in those adorable frilly dresses!
Be forewarned. If you find out you are going to have a girl, start saving money for her clothes fund, in addition to the college fund. Little baby girls are like living baby dolls you can dress up. You will buy cute little dresses, with matching accessories, and earrings. You will want to purchase cute little patent leather shoes and the lacy socks or stockings. Of course, they can’t play in those dresses. They are for church and other dress up occasions. So, you will need another wardrobe of pants and matching tops, along with the socks and sneakers. Just so you know, these clothes aren’t cheap! I once saw a dress that I liked for my daughter. It was over $100. The sad part is that the dress was so cute, that I actually thought about buying it! My daughter wasn’t even 1 years old yet. I didn’t buy the dress.
Next comes the preschool years. You still have control over what they wear, but now they start to express their opinions. During the preschool years, I would iron 5 pairs of pants and 5 shirts on Sunday. Every school day, my daughter got to choose which pair of pants and which shirt she wanted to wear that day (She went to a Montessori preschool. The teacher said that we should let the kids pick their own clothes). Sometimes, I had to “help” her choose. I couldn’t have her going out looking any kind of way. What would people say?
Luckily for me, she wore a school uniform during the elementary school years. But by then, she was no longer was she interested in dresses. She said that pants were more comfortable. I understood that, but I insisted that she still have some dresses for special occasions.
High school is pretty much the same as elementary school, except now, she buys her own clothes. She has pretty good taste in clothes and seems to pick out pieces that accentuate her figure and look good on her. Sometimes, when I’m shopping with her, I pick out clothes for her. You should see the look she gives me. I crack up every time. She tries to not offend me, so she’ll crinkle up her nose and say something like, “No mommy. I don’t think so.”, or “No mommy, that really isn’t for me.” Occasionally, I’ll get, “Oh. That’s really not that bad.” Really not that bad, is that the best I can get? Doesn’t this girl know how lucky she is to have a fashion conscience mother, like me? Luckily for her, she knows not to pick out any hoochie mama clothes. Although once, she showed me a dress online that she was thinking of buying. It wasn’t necessarily a hoochie mama dress, but I had to tell her that 1) she does not have the cleavage for that dress, and 2) there was no way in hell she was going to wear that dress at the ripe young age of 16! She laughed and told me that she knew I wouldn’t go for it. I guess she just wanted to get a rise out of me.
Listen, if you have a young daughter, get ready. One day, the days of the dressing your little girl in frilly dresses will disappear, and the days of the crop tops and form fitting dresses will take its place. Be ready. Its an adjustment. And just to be clear, its an adjustment for you, not for her.
So, now you know, and you can … Consider Yourself Warned!
If you have a daughter, what kind of clothing wars have you had?
I don’t know what made me remember this the other day. Maybe I’m still feeling a little nostalgic due to my son’s graduation, or maybe I was just bored, but this memory randomly popped into my head.
When I had my son, I was lucky. Both of his grandmothers were retired. They not only had the time, but they also had the desire to help us out. About a week after my son was born, my mother came from Connecticut and stayed with us for 3 months. After her 3-month stint was over, my then mother-in-law flew in from Nigeria and stayed for us for the following 3 months. They alternated 3 month stays for my son’s first year. It was good for everyone involved. Both grandmothers had bonding time with their grandson, and we could go to work knowing that our son was with someone who loved him.
But, we all knew that situation was not going to last forever. We knew that at the end of his first year, we would need to find a babysitter. Luckily for us, we found a good, kind, loving lady, within walking distance from our apartment who operated a small daycare in her family home. We are still friends with her family today.
The first day I dropped my son off at the babysitter’s, he didn’t cry. I was really surprised. I thought that he would at least have separation anxiety. But, ok. Whatever. I dropped him off and went to work. I had asked my mother-in-law to stop by periodically throughout that first week to make sure the baby was fine. She laughed when I asked. Somehow, I don’t think she took my request seriously. Thank goodness I was busy at work, so I didn’t have much time to worry about my son.
When I went to pick my son up from the babysitter’s that first day, I took one look at him and laughed. That little boy was sitting in the highchair with his head in his hand. He had a confused expression on his face that seemed to say, “Why am I here? “ After talking with the babysitter, I took my son home, and put him in his crib so I could change my clothes. While I was changing, that little boy stood up, looked at me, and then proceeded to give me a lecture for a good 15 minutes! For the life of me, I don’t know what he was saying, but whatever it was, I could tell from the expression on his face that it was serious. To this day, I wish I had a baby talk translator to translate for me what he said.
New parents, you won’t know what your baby is babbling about, but believe you me, what they are saying is serious to them. Make sure you respond to them and encourage the conversations. I used to talk to both of my kids all the time and I responded to their babbling. To this day, my kids and I still talk. I believe that those early baby talks helped to strengthen our bond. Hopefully, those talks will help strengthen your bond too.
So, now you know, and you can … Consider Yourself Warned!
If you have kids, did you spend time talking to them?
SassyGirlTye lives with her two wonderful teenagers in Brooklyn, New York. No matter what she says in her posts, she truly loves her children with all her heart.