Consider yourself warned!
A guide for those who think they want children.
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It never fails. Whenever I get to this time of year, I can’t believe that summer is almost over. I wonder to myself, “Where did the time go?” I sit back and realize that I have not spent this summer the doing what I really wanted to do … nothing! Unfortunately, summer is just like any other time of the year, I am busy, busy, busy!
Now don’t get me wrong, I did hang out with my friends and enjoy happy hour, but I would really like a summer where I didn’t have to work (but still get paid). In fact, I would like to get paid more than what I make now, and have the summers off. But, back to reality. One thing that I hate about the summer is that school will start up again soon. Luckily for me, I have kids that actually like going to school. Perhaps I should rephrase that statement. As my son told me once, he likes the social aspect of school, not so much the school work part of it. I think the reason I dislike the end of summer and the beginning of school is that it makes me realize my kids are one year closer to leaving me and going off to college, and I will be home with an empty nest. As much as my girlfriends and I joke about the kids being out of the house, the reality is that they will be missed. Hell, I miss them when they go to their father’s, or when they spend a week with their grandparents! I know you must be saying to yourself, “Girl, your kids are still in high school. Why are you even thinking of them leaving for college?” And you are right, maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about something that is two years or so from happening. But the problem is ... this week, my kids and I are on mini college tour, so reality is slapping me in the face right now. I took two weeks off to take a road trip with my kids. As of today, my kids have seen Georgetown University, Howard University, and University of Virginia. Tomorrow, they will be Duke. By the end of next week we will have also seen Spelman College, Morehouse College, Clark Atlanta University, and Georgia Tech. Just seeing both of my kids physically standing on a college campus makes me want to cry. I can’t even imagine how I will react when I drop them and their belongings off at their dorm. I hope I can hold in the tears until I get back to the car. Anyway, I know that college life will be a good experience for them, and it is one that I want them to have. And, I know that it is one that they want as well. But until then, I am going to cherish the time that I have left because you may never know, as one of my friends told me over drinks the other night, “Once they leave for college, they may not come back home.” So, cherish the time you have with your kids. Once they leave, they may not come back home! Consider Yourself Warned!
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Mommy, I want a brother. At sixteen years old, my son is still telling me this. Even though he has a perfectly good sister, he still wants a brother. I guess its only natural. I am my parents’ only daughter. For many years I told my mother that I wanted a sister. And for many years, my mother told me that she was not having any other more kids. I could never understand why she just wouldn’t make me sister. After all, she made me a younger brother when I asked for one. Now that I think of it, my younger brother has never thanked me for his existence. For all I know, had I not asked for him, he may not be alive today. Anyway, no matter how much I asked for a little sister, I never got one. I got little cousins, play sisters, and even shared my friends’ sisters, but I never got my own sister.
Now that my son has been expressing his wish for a younger brother, I find myself repeating the words that my mother said to me, “I’m not having any more kids.” The tone of my voice varies depending on how much he’s nagged and/or complained that day. It can be either playful, “Boy please, I am not having any more kids”. It can be frustrated, “Why? So you can have someone else to argue with?” It can be annoyed, “I already told you, I’m not having any more kids!” I even tried logic. I’ve explained to my son that even if I were to have another kid, there’s no guarantee that it would be a boy. He could get stuck with another sister. And, even if by the grace of God I had a boy, it’s not like he would be born a teenager! He would be a baby. That baby won’t be able to play basketball with him and the baby would be two years old when my son leaves for college. But really tho, what my son doesn’t understand is that its been sixteen years since I had him and I’m still trying to get my body back! Does he really think that I would ruin the little progress I made just to have another kid? I don’t think so! Interestingly enough, my daughter has hasn’t asked me for a younger sister in years. On my parents’ side, my daughter is the youngest grandchild and the only girl. When she mentioned that she wanted a younger sister a few years ago, I casually reminded her that if I had another kid, she would not be the youngest anymore. I could literally see her thinking and can tell you the exact moment when she realized how her status in the family would change if I had another child. It was like seeing the light bulb click on her mind. Now, the only complaint I get from her every now and then is how much she wishes she didn’t have a brother. I think my daughter would be just fine if she were an only child. I know that I sound heartless, but I do feel for my son. I understand his need for a younger brother, especially one close in age. I can see him playing basketball with a younger brother. I can see them watching and talking basketball together. I can see my son and his younger brother talking about girls … who’s cute, who they are interested in, and how to get their attention. All of that would be nice, but sorry my man, you don’t have a younger brother. You have a younger sister instead! So, just so you know, no matter how many children you have and in what combination, someone will not be satisfied. Now you know. So consider yourself warned! |
SassyGirlTye lives with her two wonderful teenagers in Brooklyn, New York. No matter what she says in her posts, she truly loves her children with all her heart.
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