Consider yourself warned!
A guide for those who think they want children.
Today, I am leaving for Atlanta. I can’t wait to go. For the past few years, I have tried to return to Atlanta for homecoming. I love seeing my old college friends as well as my family. I enjoy hanging out at my classes’ tail gate tent, the camaraderie, and the fun we have together.
Monday, I started pre-packing. I have to get my outfits together. After all, I went to Spelman College, and you can’t show up anywhere looking shabby. So, while I’m packing, my daughter acts surprised that I’m going somewhere. Now, I’m thinking, “Girl, you know I go to Atlanta around this time every year. This isn’t the first time.” And besides, I told her a few days ago that I’m leaving Thursday and won’t be able to make Saturday’s track meet. I guess it didn’t sink in that I was leaving until she actually saw me pre-packing. Now she’s sad. For the last two days, all I have been hearing is how she is going to miss me. She’s going on, and on, and on. And it is starting to drive me crazy! I love her and all, but I just don’t need another hug and kiss and proclamation of her love for me. I’m trying to pack! Besides, I’ve been through this before and I know how this story ends. Once I’m gone and she is at school with her friends, she won’t be thinking of me. When I get back, she will tell me how much she missed me, and I will give her my standard response, “Oh yeah? But you didn’t call or text me.” Although, to be fair to her, she will text me and tell me to have a good time.
Then there’s her brother, “Mommy, do you have to go?” Ummmm, yeah!!! I need to get away. Of course, I can’t say that to him (and since he probably has forgotten that I have a blog, I’m pretty confident that he won’t be reading it). So, here are my choices, I can travel out of state for the weekend, drink and party with other adults, eat out with friends, and go have fun, or stay at home and be the responsible mom. Which do you think I’m doing this weekend?
Both of my children have asked me if they could come with me. I tell them that they can’t go, after all, they have to go to school. But what I’m really thinking is, “Are you crazy! You two would get in the way of my partying.” The reality is that I need this weekend. I need the time to forget about all the responsibilities that comes with being a mother and all of the responsibilities of work. I just need to hang out and get my party on, remember all the good times that I had in college, and make new memories with my friends that I only get to see once a year. Once I do that, I will be tired, but relaxed. Spending time away from my kids makes me a better parent. As parents, we spend so much of our time tending to the wants and needs of our children. However, it is rare that we get the chance to tend to our own wants needs. However, we need to make the effort to tend to them more often. Doing so will make us better parents.
So, on that note, I’m off to Atlanta! Maybe I’ll see you there.
Be good to yourselves … And Consider Yourself Warned.
I’m My Son’s Biggest Cheerleader
It’s that time of year again. High school basketball season. Two years ago, my made the JV basketball team. So, for the last two years I have been going to the home JV basketball games during the week. Luckily for me, my son’s school is not too far from my job. I can leave work in enough time to make it to the games. Now that he’s a junior, he is trying out for the varsity team. The first round of tryouts was this past Monday. He thinks that he did well enough to make it to the next round. He’ll find out tomorrow. I hope he and his friends/JV teammates make it. It would be fun to see them playing together again for the next two years. I must admit, I loved going to their games. Even when they were freshman and didn’t get much playing time, the games were still fun. I remember sitting through the whole game, just to see him play the last 30 seconds. I even taped it on my phone for him. It didn’t matter how long he played. I was there to cheer him on. He always knew he had my support.
The funny thing is that he didn’t always appreciate me cheering him on. When he played in a league in middle school, I was the loudest parent cheering from the bench. I was so loud that sometimes my daughter and her father wouldn’t even sit near me. I. Was That. Loud! But I didn’t care. I was there to cheer on my son. And I didn’t cheer just for my son, I cheered for the whole team. Why not? They all needed to hear someone encouraging them to play well and praising them when they made a good play. If I didn’t know a teammate’s name, I would call out their jersey number. I just wanted the player to know that someone was cheering for him. But for some reason, my son used to be embarrassed by my cheering. I don’t know why. Some of the other parents would just sit on the bench and act as if they were bored and wanted to be somewhere else. How could they do that? I just don’t understand. Kids need to be encouraged. Kids need to feel that their parents are supporting them. What kid wouldn’t feel great hearing their parent cheering for them as they play their sport? Can you imagine how good a kid feels when he hears his parent praising him from the stands? Who knows? Maybe my son was embarrassed because I was the loudest parent out there. Oh well, that’s what I get to do. After all, I am his mom.
Now here’s the funny thing. As much as my son used to get on me about cheering him on back then, I believe he secretly enjoyed it. What makes you think that, you ask? Well, all during his JV season, whenever he had a home game, he would ask me, “Mom, are you coming to the game?” He would actually look for me in the stands and would get on me when was late (I would tell myself that he was looking to make sure that I was there for him, not because I was bringing him the Gatorade he asked me to bring).
So here he is again, trying out for the varsity team. I hope he makes it. I will be his biggest cheerleader out there. Well, I guess his girlfriend and I will be his biggest cheerleaders. Either way, I can’t wait to see what the new season brings.
Now, you future and new parents out there better rest up your vocal cords. You’re going to need them to cheer your kids on because YOU should be their biggest cheerleader!
So now you know and you can consider yourself warned!
SassyGirlTye lives with her two wonderful teenagers in Brooklyn, New York. No matter what she says in her posts, she truly loves her children with all her heart.