September 05th, 2016

          So, today, I’m sitting at the eye doctor's office, waiting while son is fitted for contact lenses.  While I’m waiting, I started to think about all the money I spent on him and his sister over the past few weeks, and I think, “Damn, these kids are expensive!”  So, for all you women who are longing to have your own child, let me just warn you, not only do you never catch up on sleep, you will be continuously broke because you are your child’s, or worse, children's private ATM machine.  In fact, not only will your child see the letters ATM written across your forehead, but so will his or her teachers, other friends, and doctors.  You don’t believe me?  Well that’s your choice.  I’m just trying to help you out.  But if you’re willing to listen, here are examples of some of the things you will hear over the years:
                    Mom, I need a book for school.
                    Mom, I need school supplies for my school project.
                    Mom, need money for my class trip.
                    Mom, I need money for the bake sale.
                    Mom, I need money for the book fair.
                    Mom, I need money to get Kristy a gift for her birthday party.
                    Mom, can I go to the movies with my friends?  Oh yeah, I need some money.
                    Mom, can I go to Five Guys with my friends after school?  I need some money.
                    Hey Mom, your daughter/son needs a new pair of glasses.
                    Mom, I broke my glasses.  Yeah, I know I only got them two months ago.
                    Mom, your daughter/son needs braces.
                    Mom, your daughter/son needs a prescription for A, B, and Z.
                    Mom, I need a new pair of sneakers (No you don’t.  You already have five pairs).
                    Mom, I need a new dress for the party. (No you don’t.)
                    Mom, can I get the new X-Box/Playstation?
                    Mom, I need a new cell phone!
​                    Mom, can I download this app?  No, it's not free.
                    Mom, that (fill in the blank) looks nice.  We should get one.
                    Mom, did you pay for summer camp yet?
                    Mom, you need to pay for my dance recital costume.
                    Mom, did you pay for my piano/dance/karate/swimming lessons this month?
 
​          Do you see the two common denominators here?  If you don’t, let me help you.  It’s Mom and Money!  I really wish I were as rich as these kids seem to think I am.  But, I’m not.  So they get to hear the word “NO”, or “That’s not in the budget.”  And its ok, they’re still living.
          So, consider yourself warned.  You best start saving up your money before you have kids because once they arrive, you and your money will soon be parted.
          If you have kids, please help me educate those who think the grass is greener on this side.  What other ways have your kids come up with to spend your hard earned money?