Consider yourself warned!
A guide for those who think they want children.
Since my son started college, people have been asking me how I have been doing. Did I cry? Do I miss him? Of course, I miss him. But, I realize that they are really asking me how am I adjusting to him being away from home. They ask about him too. But let’s be real. He’s a teenager who is finally free from his parents. He is doing just fine.
I am fine too. But, I have to admit, it wasn’t that hard leaving him at Syracuse. I knew that he was ready for college. I was confident that he was well prepared for this part of his life’s journey. It would have been selfish of me to try to hold him back. Besides, he annoyed me the night before I left, so I was kind of ready to leave.
I know you’re asking yourself, “Girl, what happened? How could he have annoyed you?” Well, let me tell you. After we move my son into his dorm room, after I take him to Walmart to buy him everything we thought he would need, and after we go out to dinner, my son told me that he wanted to spend the night on campus. I was fine with that. In fact, I anticipated it. Who could blame him? If it were me, I would have wanted to do the same thing. The next day we meet up for breakfast. At breakfast, we discuss that I would go to parent orientation and we would meet up later for dinner. Fine. The following day, his roommate and one of his friends from high school, who is also staying in the same dorm as my son, arrive. After we have breakfast together, I go to the parent orientation. Now, when I texted him after parent orientation and mention that I will see him after convocation, I am suddenly smothering him. Can you believe that? It took all my energy not to call him up and cuss his little behind off! I was smothering HIM! I intentionally gave him the space he needed. I could not believe it. When I calmed down a little, I sent him a text. I told him that no, I was not smothering him. If that were the case, he would not have left my side all week. I explained that he was just annoyed because now that his friend and roommate were here, he wanted to spend time with them. Let me tell you, I was so annoyed, I was tempted to return to Brooklyn that night! But, I prepaid the Airbnb for the week, and besides, this was my vacation. So, I went to the mall instead. Later, my son texted me back that he didn’t mean to be rude and that he still wanted to have breakfast with me in the morning. So I stayed.
Later, as I was riding the shuttle bus from the parking lot back to campus to go to convocation, I started talking to the two other moms who were on the bus with me. All of us had sons. None of our sons were with us. I shared how my son said that I was smothering him. One of the moms stated that she would rather that her son came out and told her that. She had been waiting all day for her son to return her texts. I have to admit, I felt better knowing that I wasn’t the only parent who’s kid was ignoring them. We all acknowledged that our sons were going to be fine without us. Then, we three moms went to convocation. It was at the Carrier Dome. None of us saw our sons there. After convocation, one mom got a text from her son saying that he was already outside and that he would meet her there (lucky her). The other mom finally got a text from her son saying that he was not going to stay around for the food. He had already left with his friends. My son. My son didn’t even bother to text me. I guess he figured that he didn’t need to since he had already established that he would meet me for breakfast the next morning. Honestly, a quick glance around told me that many of the freshman didn’t bother to stay and that the food was really there for the discarded parents.
So, when I left Syracuse, I didn’t cry. I was glad because I didn’t want to cry in front of my son. I didn’t want him to feel guilty or sad for leaving home. I did tear up in the car though. Unfortunately for his sister, who still maintains that she does not miss her brother, she gets to receive all of the love that her brother isn’t getting from me right now. Sometimes, I will just grab her, hug her tightly, smother her with kisses, and tell her how much I love her. I guess once was enough for her. Now when I do it, she laughs and tells me to get off of her. I just laugh and do it again. She’s my baby and next year, she’ll be gone too. She’s stuck with me for now.
Parents just know, when you drop your kid off to college, it may not be the sappy goodbye you expected … and that’s ok. Either way, your kid will probably be just fine.
So, now you know, and you can … Consider Yourself Warned!
If you had the pleasure of dropping your child off to college, or to the military, did you cry?
SassyGirlTye lives with her two wonderful teenagers in Brooklyn, New York. No matter what she says in her posts, she truly loves her children with all her heart.