Consider yourself warned!
A guide for those who think they want children.
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I think that no matter how old you are, you will always think that you are cool and hip. But for some reason, when your kids reach a certain age, they won’t think you’re cool anymore. I had my first rude awakening when I overheard my daughter, who was about nine at the time, tell her brother, “You know, Mommy’s a little bit cool.” What? A little bit cool? Does this child not know who her mother is? I couldn’t believe my ears! I was so shocked that I couldn’t even say anything to her. I didn’t understand, how could she not think that I am cool? And why did her brother agree with her? Are these really my children?
The next time was about two years ago when I was taking my son to the eight grade dance (which I was chaperoning). I was driving him to his friend’s house where a bunch of the boys were going to meet before the dance and walk over together. On the way over there, my son forbade me from dancing at the party. I couldn’t understand, I am a great dancer. Now, I wasn’t really planning on dancing, but if the right song came on and the mood hit... But no, I had to stay in my lane. I guess I really shouldn’t have been shocked when my daughter told me the exact same thing right before her eight grade dance a year later. Then last week, my daughter had her first high school dance. The dance was in Manhattan, at night, which meant that I had to accompany her on the train. Being the cool mom that I am, I told my daughter that she could walk the last block to school by herself so that she could meet her friends. That child had the nerve to look at me and say, “How about three blocks?” Really? No my love, I need to see that you and your friends actually get to the school. I may be cool, but I’m not about to let my thirteen year old daughter loose with a bunch of her freshman high school friends on the streets, three blocks before they get to the party at the all boy’s school (oh, I forgot to mention, this party was at an all boy’s high school. The girl is lucky I didn’t walk her up to the front door like I saw some other parents do). Just a side note, my daughter asked me if I went to parties when I was in high school and then said that she wanted to hear some stories of the “groovy“ parties that I went to (groovy was in air quotes). I just looked at her and said, “I don’t know how old you think I am, but we did not use the term ‘groovy’ when I was in high school”. Can you believe the girl had the nerve to look shocked! Anyway, I digress. Then, earlier this week, my son sent me a text that he was stopping by my office afterschool with one of his friends. That child actually had the nerve to put in the text, “Don’t embarrass me mom”. Wait, what? Me, embarrass you? Like, what was I going to do, whip out the baby pictures, slobber all over him in front of his friend? Then, when I failed to text him back in a timely fashion, after all, that child of mine had the nerve to call me just so that I would know not to embarrass him. After he left with his friend, I texted him to find out how I did. His response, “You did ok.” Ok, just ok? I was damn good! I thought I was really cool and laid back. Well, maybe making him and his friend go to the supply room to get me a box of copy paper was a bit much. But then again, he did come to my job. I may as well put him to work. Anyway, I’m not quite sure how you lose your coolness when you become a parent, but I refuse to believe that I’ve lost mine … no matter what my kids say. I guess when they’re old enough to go to happy hour or clubbing with me, they’ll see just how wrong they are. Until then … Consider yourself warned! Ok moms and dads, when did you first realize that your kids no longer thought you were cool?
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SassyGirlTye lives with her two wonderful teenagers in Brooklyn, New York. No matter what she says in her posts, she truly loves her children with all her heart.
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