Consider yourself warned!
A guide for those who think they want children.
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May 1st. Decision Day. The designated day for high school seniors to commit to their college of choice. Last year, my son committed to Syracuse University. This year is my daughter’s turn to choose which college to attend. She had a few good options to choose from: The University of San Francisco, The University of South Carolina, Penn State, Spelman College (my choice), Jacksonville University, and Binghamton University (her father’s choice). Her choice … The University of South Carolina! So, come August, assuming that the colleges are letting students return to campus, I will be an empty nester.
When I was pregnant with my son, people at my job gave me free, unsolicited advice all the time. I listened to everyone. One piece of advice that someone gave me was to make sure that I had a life independent of my kids because one day they will leave home. I don’t know why, but I always remembered that advice. So, even while the kids were little, I made sure to maintain my friendships. During my mommy journey, I made new friends at school functions, basketball games, swimming class, hapkido class, and dancing school. I am still friends with some of those moms today. As the kids grew older, I joined the Single Moms Ministry, the choir, and the drama ministry at my church. I took voice acting classes. I took a screenwriting class. I started running. I ran the NYC marathon last year. My point is this, I made sure to explore things that were of interest to me and to not live solely for my kids. Now that both kids will soon be away at school, people ask me what am I going to do. Well, I’ve been preparing myself for this moment since they were little. When I leave my daughter in South Carolina, I will most likely cry. After all, she is my baby, the last one to leave home. But, after I stop crying. I will drive myself back to Brooklyn, text my girlfriends, and if its not too late, go out for happy hour to celebrate the accomplishments of both my kids! Part of me is looking forward to having the house to myself. When I buy food, it will still be in the refrigerator when I get home. Things will be where I left them. When I’m watching tv, I won’t have to compete with my son’s tv or his loud telephone conversations. When I come home from work, there won’t be dirty dishes in the sink (a pet peeve of mine). I won’t have to cook for these kids anymore. Thank you meal plan! Of course, I will still miss my kids. I will wonder what they are doing. Are they ok? Do they miss me? I will call them every now and again to make sure that they are doing well and that they are eating enough and getting enough rest (I’m still their mother). But, I will also give them space so that they can have the freedom to explore, grow, and mature. So, what will I be doing when my kids leave for college and my nest is empty? Who knows? The sky’s the limit. But what I won’t be doing is sitting at home crying because my kids aren’t there. Parents of young kids heed my coworker’s advice, don’t make your kids the center of your life. Make sure you maintain friendships and develop your own interests. If you don’t, you will be miserable once your kids leave home. So, now you know, and you can … Consider Yourself Warned! If you are an empty nester, what are some of the things you’ve been up to?
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SassyGirlTye lives with her two wonderful teenagers in Brooklyn, New York. No matter what she says in her posts, she truly loves her children with all her heart.
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